I'm going to hire someone to precede me into rooms and read my blurbs out loud before I enter. That's sure to make me seem more exciting than I actually am.

First I've heard of that practice. Most people put an "objective" statement up top, waxing loquacious about what sort of job they want, but then you should cut quickly to the job history & education, relevant credentials, etc.

I like Steve's idea about being formally announced wherever I appear, but since I already hired a small orchestra to follow me around playing my theme music, I'll have to forego being preceded by a crier lest people shun me for my ostentation.

Not to worry, Frank -- I don't think Americans shun ostentation anymore. You could even arrive in a stretch Hummer if you so desired (and why wouldn't you?).

One of the good resume guide books in the library that we borrowed from the library last time we had to prepare a CV for Barbara had something like the blurb idea, it sounds brilliant to me, since often the people looking through the CVs need to "cull" a large number of applications quickly to a manageable pile.

I'd keep the blurb announcer for the interview though ;) - even for a formal interview a full classical orchestra might be OTT, how about a string quartet (but even then only for very special occasions, or even I would shun you, Frank)?

The clear advantage of the stretch Hummer is that it can hold both the orchestra and the crier. I heard of a recent M.I.T. Master's Thesis Project that worked on developing Hummer shaped envolopes that when opened played an MP3 of the crier's announcement and then looped a second MP3 of the orchestral theme. I think that Mailboxes ETC. was investing some money in start up costs for a company to distribute these. Last I heard, the company was going to be called C.V. Padding Inc.