Cold Rain Pain

It’s cold, it’s wet, and my knee hurts. No run this morning. (I’m considering taking one or two non-timed runs a week, to keep the habit alive while not obliging me to push hard every single morning.)

Nothing in my diary this Saturday. I may actually read from a book, or read some Greek.

Week’s Wrap-Up

Good morning run, back on pace (though my average is still higher after Tuesday’s bump up — 20:48). Coffee, shower, Morning Prayer, then I’ll check phone messages at the Parish centre, on to R&R for coffee with Margaret where (heaven permitting) I’ll get some reading done, and in the afternoon I’ll go to Oxford for the NT Seminar on Hebrews. Maybe work on some Greek — Justin Martyr, or Lucian….

Remembering Nihilism

The other day I recollected as an oddly fond memory the days when George W. Bush was President of the US, and when people in his orbit would refer to people such as I as ‘nihilists’ because… well, I’m not sure why, but it sounded intellectual and anarchic. Presumably the accusation would have rested on my respect for Jacques Derrida and Michel Foucault and other people that administration probably hadn’t even heard of, who argued that the stuff that Bush et al. insisted was ‘reality’ was way more complicated and less real than they wanted to suppose. Bushian nihilists hypothetically believed that nothing means anything, that we can do whatever we want (you know, the way I’m always going on about the virtues of selfishness). Since they were on the side of ‘reality’, people who disagreed with them — such as I — must have been denying reality, hence ‘nihilists’.

These memories came to mind because of my profound shock, and sorrow, that a large part of the current Republican leadership seems simply not to care about how their actions appear to the rest of the world, or how they will appear to future generations, or how they will be judged by a righteous God, or karma, or some other cosmic principle. Even allowing that they might be self-deceived about the righteousness of their actions (and I can hardly do that), they apparently can’t even allow the possibility that they be found to have fallen short of a critical standard of justice and decency.

The policies and public remarks of the current administration with its fellow-travellers raise group cynicism to heretofore unattained levels. Caring nothing for the eventual (to say nothing of the ‘eternal’) consequences of their actions, they are in it to win it, Katie bar the door, He who dies with the most gold bars, wins. If that’s not nihilism, we need a new word with a different history of usage, that can stand in for ‘believes in nothing, no principles, no ideals, no moral compass other than “what I want”’ — cos that’s what I thought nihilism was all about.

Slow Start

I decided not to run this morning, thinking that my legs deserved a little break from pushing to reach better and better times. I can push them again tomorrow. Coffee (no fruit), showered and dressed, Morning Prayer and some errands at church, home for more coffee and crumpets, doomscrolling, parochial hopescrolling, and working on the Epistle of James.

Wednesday of Third

I thought I got off to a pretty good start this morning, but evidently I misjudged my pace. My legs were a bit tight, especially after the first two-thirds of a mile or so — when, ordinarily, they begin to relax and stretch out; and the pavements were just a wee bit frosty near the rivers. In any case, my rolling average crept back up to 20:53, though I expect I’ll be pulling it back down relatively soon.

Staff meeting at midday, and a wedding couple to meet this evening.

Yesterday… And Today

Full day yesterday, beginning with a surprisingly good run (average down to 20:23). Then coffee and fruit, shower, Morning Prayer, then directly to an online Safeguarding event, then dashed off to a Home Communion, then straight ahead to Communion by Extension in a care home, at last home and flopped into a chair.

This morning’s run was surprisingly slow (I think I must have done something wrong with the timer at a traffic intersection), so the rolling average bounces back to 20:45. Coffee and fruit, about to shower and go to church for Morning Prayer, then meet Margaret for a quick cafe breakfast, then home to receive the plumber, then some academic work. Different day, but no idle hands.

Sunday, Sunday

Good run this morning — I was surprised by my time — bringing my 5-day rolling average to 20:28. I’m hammering away at that 20:00 mark!

Coffee, fruit, sermon refinement, shower, more coffee, toast, pack up for church, this morning at St Michael and All Angels. I haven’t been to St Michael’s since Remembrance Day; I was surprised that it’s been so long, but with the turmoil engendered by Fr Charles’s retirement, and Fr Paul being signed off, I haven’t been keeping track of where I served when. The sermon went well, I think, and we had a lovely family looking ahead toward baptism. In ten minutes or so I’ll go to the Parish Centre Hall for a Faith Forum that Margaret will lead, on Creation (Why It’s Ex Nihilo).

January Listening

In January, I listened to:

1 The Beatles 9 scrobbles
2 Rickie Lee Jones 8
3 Alabama Shakes 6
4 Beyoncé 6
5 Elvis Costello & The Attractions 6
6 Sinéad O’Connor 6
7 Amy Rigby 5
8 Aretha Franklin 5
9 Billie Holiday 5
10 The Fiery Furnaces 5

–according to last.fm.

I can’t explain why the Mountain Goats only got 4 plays this whole month, but that’s (semi-)random shuffle for you.

Elderly And Time-Zone Challenged

I can’t stay awake tonight, and even if I could, I should go to bed and get a decent night’s sleep before church tomorrow morning, so I have to rely on you all to cheer Duke on tonight against the bad-smelling, misguided, tar-heeled basketball delegation of the University of North Carolina.

Appearances

My two miles this morning went at a more measured pace than the last two mornings, but it looks as though I’m continuing to improve because a five-day rolling average just knocks off the oldest time — in this case, the second or third day I was running to a timer. I was still pretty rusty back on Sunday (!), so although today’s time was nothing special, it still lowers the rolling average because it was better than Sunday’s. Isn’t math wonderful?

So the appearance that I’m still running faster encourages me even though the actual fact of this morning’s run would oblige me to admit that my time wasn’t great. Similarly… no, I suppose it’s not similar. Judge for yourself: Since Christmastime, when I had a sermon spree and preached often over the course of five days, my preaching well has run dryer than is comfortable. I don’t think I’ve done a bad job of it — people have been pleasant and agreeable about my homilies — but I feel like the sort of band whose first album might have been very good, and their second album was all right (especially in the reflected glory of the first), and their third seemed to be coasting… I’m straining more to kindle my imagination for preaching.

Now, be it admitted that in the absence of a Team Rector (and temporarily, of a Team Vicar as well), I’ve been kept very busy with pastoral tasks that might otherwise not fall to me. And my half-time role has swollen to a scale uncomfortably close to full-time. I did a tiny bit of academic writing this week also, and marking for essays. Still, Sunday sermons are possibly the most important task for my imagination week-on-week, and it’s frustrating that I feel less well-resourced to compose them.

Again, not a ‘pity me’ plea; strictly an observation about myself, my situation, and my energies. All of which demand that I return my attention to tomorrow’s homily for St Michael’s.

Abingdonversary

As of last night, it’s been one year since I was licensed to serve the Parish of Abingdon-on-Thames as their Associate Priest. I had started earlier, since I was already licensed in the diocese, but only on an unofficial basis; for the last year, I’ve been a right down parish vicar (in the non-technical sense) (that is, I’m not the vicar of any church or congregation, but I am ‘a vicar’ in the vernacular, categorial sense of ‘a priest’). In the last year, the Team Rector has retired, and the Team Vicar has been obliged to take time off to recuperate, so my ‘half-time’ status has stretched to fit the circumstances.

The people of St Helen’s, St Nicolas’s, and St Michael’s (and All Angels’) have put up with my oddities with great generosity; the townspeople of Abingdon have received me cordially; and I detect no signs of damage, physical or spiritual, among the congregations. Numbers are up, finances are sound, and the staff work together harmoniously; the gospel is proclaimed, the sacraments duly administered; we’re baptising, confirming, marrying, mourning, welcoming, and giving thanks at a giddying pace. Thanks be to God for setting me to this holy work, and for the Spirit’s support in my trying to keep up with them.

Slow Day

Going to take today as a ‘just run’ day, not going to factor it into my pase average. Better to do it than not, but I don’t feel up to pushing for speed.
Change of plan: it’s raining. Nuh-uh, not going to run, walk, or otherwise perambulate.