The Liberal Christ Gives a Press Conference
I would have walked on the water
But I wasn’t fully insured.
And the BMA sent a writ my way
With the very first leper I cured.
I would’ve preached a golden sermon
But I didn’t like the look of the mount.
And I would’ve fed fifty thousand
But the press wasn’t there to count.
And the businessmen in the temple
Had a team of coppers on the door.
And if I’d spent a year in the desert
I’d have lost my pension for sure.
I would’ve turned the water into wine
But they weren’t giving licenses.
And I would have died and been crucified
But like – you know how it is.
I’m going to shave off my beard
And cut my hair,
Buy myself some bulletproof
I’m the Liberal Christ
And I’ve got no blood to spare.