New, Diminished, Day

Last night closed the obsequies for Holly, my sister.

Family Get-Together

Cousin Alison had arranged a Meeting House of the Wilton (CT) Friends as a gathering place convenient to a great many of Holly’s dear (lower case) friends, and provided a Zoom link for remote mourner to join the event. Uncle Rich logged in from Arizona; cousin Rebecca and Greg connected from Colorado; and Margaret and I logged in from Vale of White Horse. Being as stodgy as I am, I feared that the gathering and reminiscences would make me uncomfortable, but contrariwise they were intensely moving. The recitation of Holly’s many kindnesses, her profound instinct for fashion, and her indefatigable determination to make, keep, and enhance relationships underscored Holly’s remarkable life.

They also helped me to understand some of the distance between us. The activities Holly organised, the selfless gifts for which everyone knew her, and the spheres of her expertise all were oriented in a way that structurally militated against either of us understanding the other.

I miss Holly, and will miss her more, over time. Best wishes to her as she navigates the Styx, or the Nile, or whatever other water may separate her from us. Best wishes to the many, many who grieve her loss; ‘She was like family,’ they say, and she was indeed welcomed and acknowledged as one. May Holly’s memory be a blessing. May she be ever blessed, as she blessed us.

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